Despite the deep concern and warnings the ER doctor gave us, my father survived the night. Given that repeatedly we are told that except for the problems caused by the cancer, he has the appearance and health associated with a 50 year-old man instead of one who is 63, perhaps this should not be a surprise, but the gravity with which the doctor described the situation last night tells me that it is the stubborn will of my Dad more than anything else that is keeping him going.
Regardless of how frustrating it is for those who know me, at least I can say I come by the stubbornness honestly. My Mom is stubborn about small things, my Dad waits until it is critical, then he doesn’t quit.
We are far from out of the woods. While my father is stable, he is still in the Intensive Care Unit critically ill with yet another blockage in his intestines, fluid around and inside one of his lungs, and a host of other problems that while not immediately deadly need to be resolved before he could even be described as at the point where he is recovering from this latest setback.
Realistically, I doubt he will gain enough strength to start the second round of chemotherapy that the oncologist says ins the best option to treat the recurrent cancer. I have made sure my Dad is aware of what I see of the situation, and he also knows I will support anything he decides. His decision right now is to fight for any chance, and I will support that until he tells me differently.
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The will to live and the stubborness to back it cannot be discounted in the least. You are absolutely doing the right thing, as well as all you can do.
Do not underestimate the importance or comfort your presence brings.
Good thoughts are continuing to flow your way.
Don’t forget to take care of you, too. You’re no good to anyone if you let yourself get run down. You know if you need anything…
Jack,
I am so very sorry, for you and your family. Your stubborn nature and your father’s, that will to live, is often more important than anything else.
I feel so absolutely useless to say anything of value, other than my thoughts are with you and your family.
Ditto what Chrissy said.
I also appreciate what you had to say about the exasperation of your family - I will certainly recall your words tomorrow when mine are here for Xmas.
Take care Jack,
N